Sending an e-mail is a bit like eating at McDonalds. Devoid of both charm and flavor. It's getting harder and harder to go back and rediscover the more alternative ways of sending letters. All the unemployed carrier pigeons come to mind. I think about the mailmen of the world’s calf muscles getting smaller and smaller. I see Indians in line at the unemployment office going on and on about how it was back in the day when they still used smoke signals to communicate their love, war or longing.

It's time to start writing again. In a world where everything is moving faster and faster and everything is become more and more efficient; time is an indicator of quality. By devoting time to something you show that you care. Pay your bills online, by all means do. But postcards and letters meant for people you care about should be handwritten and you should put time, thought and creativity into them.

One way to meet new people is to send a message in a bottle. Write a handwritten letter about yourself. Preferably in English since the bottle might travel farther than you might think. Stick a present in there too. Maybe some flower seeds, a memory stick with music, or a drawing. Don't forget to include a return address so that the person who finds the bottle can send a handwritten letter back to you.

Make sure that the top is properly sealed so that water won't leak in. It's pointless to use Scotch tape or glue to seal the bottle because the ocean water will dissolve regular adhesives. Use superglue or use a regular screw-on cap.

Throw the bottle into the ocean or a big lake. Go home and make your own hamburgers while you wait for a reply. Fuck Ronald McDonald and his flavorless excuse for a burger.