I'm so damn tired of whoever it is that makes those signs that are in front of some trees in some parks in some cities. They are names in Latin, which nobody but the writer understands and that doesn't say anything about the tree in question. And how to the people that put the sign up – the tree doesn't have more functions than it says in their book from nineteen-hundred something. I mean, just because they have studied botany and plant science for a thousand years doesn't mean that they can know everything about every tree in the world and have the right to put up signs on trees when no one else has the right to do so. 

It is time that we rename our trees. Make signs and put them in front of trees that you find fill a specific function. Make up names for them. Here are some examples I have found in Slottsskogen in Gothenburg. 

Wishing Tree: If you write a wish on a piece of paper and put into the tree, the wish comes true. 

Protection Trees: If you go past the tree one dark night and feel a bit scared the tree protects you from rapists, cops and robbers. 

Confession Tree: You can lean up against this tree and whisper your deepest secrets. The tree's function is to never tell. 

Drum Tree: If you play on the tree trunk with two drumsticks or two broken branches there's a quite amazing drum accompaniment. 

I'm going straight out to put up signs for my rebranded trees.