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30 December 2010

#365 Make a child

I land at the airport in Malmo after two weeks in Egypt. I’ve been away on one of my charter trips. I try to do one per year. Be by myself. Catch up on my reading. Fall asleep when I want, and waking up when I want.

I’m met by a cheerful E. She always has a difficult time admitting that she has missed me, but I can always tell by the way she hugs me. They’re a little harder, a little longer. We sit in the car and she talks about Christmas. Relatives, friends and the night out on Christmas Day. I think about I’ve missed hearing her talk. The constant flow. No room for breathing. No breaks. I smile and think how I’ve missed her too.

When we get to the burger joint to buy some burgers to eat at her mother's apartment, where we will spend the night, my phone rings. It's my dad. We talk about Egypt, the need for rest and other things. I don’t remember all the details.

Fast forward to E's mother's apartment. View over the rooftops. It’s the end of December and it's cold. It is nothing compared with Egypt but I am glad to be home again. Everything is as usual. Almost everything. Almost nothing.

E comes out from the toilet with her pants down at her ankles. She is holding something in her hand and stumbles through the hall crying. I turn around and look at her. She jumps up and down:

- We’re going to have a baby.

I land in my body after 25 years of life. I'm going to be a father.

Text: Navid Modiri

Required time: 
1 hour or less
Cost: 
Free.
Cons: 
For a short period living together might feel like a baby factory. Sometimes you need to have sex at times that aren’t not optimal just because she’s ovulating. Listen to each other and try to be sensitive and kind. Try to avoid shame and performance anxiety as best you can. You’ll have that thrown in your face then when you become parents anyway.
Pros: 
Life will never be the same as before. The change is monumental from the first second you’re standing in her mother's kitchen jumping. You will lie in sleepless wonder. You will cry and you will laugh. You probably won’t understand a thing until the baby’s there and then you’ll know even less. Try to enjoy it. Treat your child’s mother to massages, tasty and healthy food and peace and quiet. Treat yourself to one another.
Taggar: ovulation test, make a child, love, junk food, existence, baby, 365 things you can do
20 December 2010

#355 Do a santa-drive by

Photo: Erik Grenabos awesome brother.

Photo: Erik Grenabos awesome brother.

Today’s guest blogger is Erik Grenabo, a student, musician, jack of all trades and lover of life. He currently lives and studies English in Skövde and is one out of two Eric Grenabos worldwide.

For many Swedes, Karl-Bertil Jonssons Christmas is a given element of Christmas Eve. This is the case in my family as well. A few years ago me and my brother asked ourselves if we couldn’t think of a way to spread the holiday spirit in a similar way as the young Mr. Jackson does in the Tage Danielsson story.

The idea of the Santa drive-by was born pretty early on. The concept was to buy inexpensive gifts from a second hand shop, dress up like Santa Claus, ride around in car and hand out presents to strangers.

Our car, a crappy ‘96 Nissan Micra that has definitely seen better days, was in our eyes a magnificent steed on which we rode around the streets to spread the glad tidings of Christmas. The beauty however, lies in the eye of the beholder, and most would probably rather describe our mode of transportation as a tired donkey; reluctantly kicked around and constantly hoping that the trip would soon be over. Majestic thoroughbred or half dead donkey, the Micra fulfilled its task and when we drove past the square into our little cozy town, our entrance could only be likened to Jesus' entry into Jerusalem. The Christmas spirit was overwhelming.

A drive-by can look like this:

1. We stop outside someone’s house.
2. The Santa that isn’t wheelman (Shotgun Santa) goes to knock on the door.
3. The owner of the door, and hopefully of the house, opens to find himself eye to eye with Santa himself.
4. The package is delivered with holiday greetings.
5. Santa runs back to the idling Micra, in which the Santa driver is waiting.
6. The Santa driver rides them away.

As we were spreading Christmas joy we thought of a new way to distribute the gifts. Last year we drove up on a sidewalk next to a tired pizza maker who was on his way home after a hard day’s work, rolled down the passenger window and handed over a wrapped china duck, which we purchased for the reasonable sum of five crowns at our local second hand store.

Several gifts were also handed out without the assistance of our eminent steed. A Santa drive-by works just as well without a motor vehicle.

In short: Go out into the population and distribute gifts, spreading joy and having fun at the same time!

Required time: 
1 week or more
Cost: 
Less than €50
Cons: 
You might end up making the real Santa redundant.
Pros: 
You spread joy, love and confusion.
Taggar: old, nanny, Hjordis, hide and seek, dishwasher, Christmas, baby, 365 points
10 November 2010

#315 Pimp your ride

Some days you find yourself in a situation you never thought you would. I and my two friends have a home made word for it: WAWWAWD or if you say it fast: WAWD! It is an acronym for: Where Are We What Are We Doing? The word may be used when you are so shocked to find yourself in a situation for which words are not enough. Then you cry: WAWD!

I'm sitting in a small crappy car on my way to a used car store. At my side is my four week old daughter. WAWD!

I’m standing in the midst of hundreds of cars comparing which car is the safest for young children. WAWD!

I'm sitting in a Ford Focus model 2006 and listening to the sound of the engine. WAWD!

Some days you find yourself in a situation you never thought you would be in but it still feels natural and right. I’m sitting in my kitchen with girlfriend and baby. We're talking about pimping our ride. The baby gurgles and we're talking. It is time to buy something safer. Something we do don’t have to be nervous whilst driving. Something with room in the back for a stroller and with air bags. Something better than our crappy Polo. WAWD!

Text: Navid Modiri

Required time: 
1 day or less
Cost: 
More than €50
Cons: 
It costs money and takes time.
Pros: 
You are traveling less nervously with your daughter who is a future Nobel laureate in literature. That has to be in everyone's interest.
Taggar: where e we were doing we, Pimp My Ride, luggage, hip-English, engine noise, child car seat, baby, 365 things you can do
7 July 2010

#189 Learn how to change diapers

A couple months before I became a father, I had never changed a diaper in all my life. There was nothing in my life that had ever prepared me for this. At the same time I knew exactly how to go about it. It’s hard to explain but everywhere in my body there were small signals telling me that it’s okay and that it’ll be just fine. So I felt calm. And I'm not a particularly nervous person.

But I still didn’t know how to change a diaper. It is probably the world's easiest thing to learn, I thought. It's just that I hadn’t spent time in circles where you change diapers on babies.

When I was in college I learned to drink whiskey, write poetry, listen to Tom Waits, make music, stand up before a large audience, juggle, hit uppercuts and rock-hard right hooks.

When I worked on the radio I learned how rto interview major celebrities with equal-sized egos, running an entire radio show myself as both presenter, producer and technician, talking to people who have gone through fire and water without beginning to cry in the middle of live coverage and to not go on nationwide live radio and say that all Swedish politicians are from a planet where everyone is stupid in the head.

Nowhere did anyone step up and teach me how to change diapers.

Nowhere did anyone say, "Hey, Navid. Can you change diapers?

I would have responded; No. But I look forward to learning how.

Required time: 
1 hour or less
Cost: 
Free
Cons: 
Your hands might get dirty. But that's okay. I have worked several summers in elderly care. It’s no big deal.
Pros: 
The main advantage is for the baby not to have shit and pee pressed against it’s skin until it’s time for the next load. Plus it's good to know as a parent-to-be.
Taggar: whiskey, Tom Waits, parent, changing diapers, baby, 365 things you can do