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challenge yourself

1 July 2010

#182 Be the bad cop

Just because you agree with someone does not mean you're nice. It is a misconception that most people encounter on an almost daily basis. I am one of them. When someone agrees with me I usually, at least for a short period of time, find them to be great people. A person who disagrees with me or criticizes me, I dislike at first.

I always got the highest grades in Swedish. It has been my subject; the thing I am passionate about. Reading, writing and getting involved like a madman. And so I started high school and met Anders, my new Swedish teacher. He started by just barely passing me. A D-. I was completely upset. And he continued. D and D. Four or five times. In the end I stormed into his office demanding an explanation. He said that my submissions were great and I was doing fantastically well on every test. I wondered why the hell I wasn't getting an A instead of just barely passing. He thought that I could strive for more. I was lazy. He wanted me to stand on my toes to get the grade I wanted. I slammed the door and walked away. I was furious. The remaining three years in high school I did everything to get an A in Swedish. I worked my ass off. Struggled more than I ever have for a grade in Swedish. When I graduated, I got A in all his courses. It was his plan all along. 

Just because you disagree with someone does not mean you're not nice. Quite the opposite. If you want a person's best you should also challenge the person in question. It can be done on a daily basis by asking questions: Why and how? By challenging them in a constructive way. You can practice by getting into debates and discussion forums on the web. Decide to be a bad cop, the devil's advocate. Bite and be tough.

Required time: 
10 minutes at a time.
Cost: 
Zero.
Cons: 
People can get pissed at you and may call you nasty things. Do not stop the discussion because of that. Demand a response and clarification, and be constructive.
Pros: 
It's a good social exercise. You learn how people work. And also how you work under pressure or when you are exposed to criticism.
Taggar: challenge yourself, bad cop
2 May 2010

#122 Do something that embarrasses you

"An Englishman's greatest achievement is to go from cradle to grave without ever making a fool of himself." - John Cleese 

This quote is about our friends in England but I think most people in Sweden can identify with the words of comedian, John Cleese. The worst thing you can think of is to do something that is considered embarrassing; by yourself, friends, colleagues, boss, strangers or potential bedfellows. Foreboding; of making mistakes, seeming stupid or falling on ones ass, makes us refrain from doing certain things. It is time to start doing stupid things. And I have a list for a day of embarrassment. Do this, and you have definitely raised the bar for what is embarrassing and not: 

- Talk to a stranger. For at least five minutes. My friend Andreas sat behind a 80-year-old man on the bus the other day. After a while a woman of similar age got on. She sat down and mumbled a few words about the weather, and after just ten minutes they sat and talked about life, death and The One Great Love. Do as the old and mature. Fuck conventions. Be punk. 

- Wear sunglasses at work. My friend Morgan, who works at the P3 Christer likes to test people's reactions. One day he may wear a leather vest just to see how people react. Some days he sits with sunglasses on for a full day. Why? Why not. 

- Sing out loud. When I took a walk in the Skatås forest in Gothenburg, a 10-year-old boy was walking closer to me on the trail. He had headphones on and sang along with the music. When he got closer he stopped as not to sing. He lowered his voice even. The smile I got on my face that day was one that couldn't be erased, even if someone tried.

Bonus: Difficult to get started? Get ideas here! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wippooDL6WE

Required time: 
One day. Other things you can try yourself is Silly Walking, pretending that life is a musical and bursting spontaneously into song, say hello to everyone you see on the street or go into the library with your friends and pretend that you're in a video game.
Cost: 
Some shameful, nervous sweat stains under your arms or funny looks from the people around you.
Cons: 
Shame can reverberate all through your body. But do not worry, it will pass. People might think you are weird. But do not worry, it will pass.
Pros: 
You dare to do more, you challenge yourself and grow as a person and perhaps inspire others to do so as well.
Taggar: john cleese, embarassing, challenge yourself
25 January 2010

#25 Buy an instrument you can't play

Blondes and fashion interested girls do not own the blogosphere. Christians and Muslims do not own concepts like moral, faith and spirituality. And musicians can't hog all the instruments out there. We. Do. Whatever. We. Want to.

I walk into a music store and I buy one of those plastic pianos you blow into. “A Melodica”, the guy behind the counter says smiling.

You have no idea that I can't play, I think as I smile back. You have no idea that I am going to play anyway, I think as he punches the digits of the cash register.
-Would you like the receipt?, he asks.
-No, I answer.
Nice try, trying to trick me in to taking the receipt. I'm not going to come home, get cold feet because I can't play this instrument and come back and return it the next morning. You keep the receipt. It's yours, not mine.

Pirates aren't the only ones that can wear eye patches. Punk rockers need to chill out and let people without safety pins in their noses listen to punk rock. And musicians can't hog all the instruments out there. We. Do. Whatever. We. Want to.

This is what I am thinking as I take off my shoes and jacket in the hallway. The Melodica is there in its light blue box and the straw-like tube is laying next to it. I attach the tube to a nozzle in the Melodica whilst holding the instrument in my left hand. The fingers of my right hand are feeling the keys. I put the tube in my mouth and blow while pressing two random keys.

Time stops. The birds stop singing. The neighbor doing the dishes freezes with a glass in one hand and the other hand in the hot dishwater. The tones coming out sound like nothing I've ever heard.  My ears experience a ringing sensation, and a slight nausea spreads from my stomach up to my throat. I burp and some stomach acid reaches my tongue. I swallow it back down.

It can't get any worse than this, I think. Then I put the instrument down for the rest of the day in question. Tomorrow is another day. I’ll give it another try then.

Required time: 
Half an hour to go shopping. Then you need to practice every day.
Cost: 
A Melodica will run you 20-30 euro. An acoustic guitar will cost you about 100 euro.
Cons: 
Angry neighbors. Patience wearing thin. It takes time to master an instrument. But if you like to play around and don't put great expectations on yourself and don't care about what your neighbors think then there's no problem.
Pros: 
Playing with an instrument feels liberating. You don't have to play The Beatles or Bob Marley. Just play the strings, move your fingers over the keys. It's often much more liberating to play your heart and your gut than playing with your brain. Never mind how it sounds. Play for your own pleasure when no one else is home. Then maybe you'll learn to play a song. You'll maybe write a song. You'll maybe start a band.
Taggar: music, instruments, challenge yourself