Open any newspaper or magazine these days and you'll find it full of reviews. In the middle of reports of war, weather and car ads you will find The Reviewers. I'm capitalizing the R because they are the ones that keep the world turning. The Reviewers are the ones that decide what we are to think is good, bad, entertaining or terrible. The sheer fact that the number of Reviewers has increased must be a sign that they are something good that is needed for our survival. How else would we know what records, books or movies we should spent our time on and which to ignore?
But I say why stop there. I say we should take it one step further. It's time to take reviewing into the 21st century. Why should us ordinary people be exempt from the reviewing?
There are easy systems to finding a good angle to every review. Let yourself be inspired by The Reviewers on the radio, television, newspapers and magazines. Make their words and syntax yours. Use hard metaphors, namedropping and a grading system. Enter your analytical mode with your pen for a sword and take no prisoners.
Start by reviewing a friend. Then continue on to everyone you know. Acquaintances and neighbours. Siblings and parents. See what grade they get. And then tell them how they rate.
Required time:
Half an hour per person. Fifteen minutes of observation and note taking. Ten minutes for writing the review. Five minutes for editing.
Cost:
Pen and paper. Maybe the loss of a friendship or relationship or two.
Cons:
People being reviewed might get upset if they score low.
Pros:
You'll sort out what you think about the people around you.
