I’m standing in front of the toothpaste shelf at the super market and am trying to tell myself that I possess free will. I'm the bumblebee that technically can’t fly but still buzz those small wings anyway and my heavy body lifts off the ground. I'm trying to trick my subconscious. I'm trying to trick my old philosophy teacher who said that people don’t really have a free will of their own, that we are slaves to both fate and advertising. I’m holding two different tubes of toothpaste, one in each hand, trying to choose the opposite of my first impulse.
But as I leave the store with my tube of Colgate in my left pocket, I feel so cheated. How can I tell if it was really my choice? That it wasn’t made by internal psychological mechanisms following years of advertising bombarding us with messages that the company pumped into our collective veins? I have no idea. Toothpaste is toothpaste. Fuck it.
It's the same thing when I'm trying to figure out what I really want to do. Whether it's the choice of career, home, girlfriend, friends, clothes, gadgets, what books I should read or what music I should listen to. Is it me who chooses what I do or is it a result of wanting to live up to the expections of certain people in the flock? Which signals I want to send out. How I want to be perceived.
There are various ways of finding out what you want to do. One way is by buying a large sheet of paper, colored pencils, making a big pot of tea and then calling a person who knows you well. Sit down at your kitchen table. Lay out the large paper. Take out the colored pencils. Now let your friend interview you under the following headings:
- What did you want to be when you were little?
- Which of all professions in the world would you have today if you could choose quite freely?
- If all food was wholesome and good for you, what would you like to eat for a week?
- If all music was hip and in, which bands would you listen to?
- If you knew you would die in a year, what would you do with your life?
- If you were financially independent, what would you dedicate your life to?
Continue with similar topics. Think of some yourself and let your friend think of at least three. Let it take time. Some answers you can draw, others you can write, but make sure to fill the large sheet with as much as you possibly can.
When the tea is over thank your friend and ask him to go home.
When you have the interview material as you sit down by yourself and think about what you need to do to achieve everything you've written down. Make a time schedule and find out how much energy, money and other things are needed to be able to make it happen.
Then stand up.
And do it.
Now.
Required time:
Two hours.
Cost:
5 Euro for paper and pencils.
Cons:
Being a person who does what he wants provokes others because your action holds a mirror to their sad and cowardly life.
Pros:
You don’t have the anxiety that comes with you doing things you don’t really want to. Less often will you end up in situations where you ask yourself, "How the hell did I get into this mess... I don't even like charter."
