Blondes and fashion interested girls do not own the blogosphere. Christians and Muslims do not own concepts like moral, faith and spirituality. And musicians can't hog all the instruments out there. We. Do. Whatever. We. Want to.
I walk into a music store and I buy one of those plastic pianos you blow into. “A Melodica”, the guy behind the counter says smiling.
You have no idea that I can't play, I think as I smile back. You have no idea that I am going to play anyway, I think as he punches the digits of the cash register.
-Would you like the receipt?, he asks.
-No, I answer.
Nice try, trying to trick me in to taking the receipt. I'm not going to come home, get cold feet because I can't play this instrument and come back and return it the next morning. You keep the receipt. It's yours, not mine.
Pirates aren't the only ones that can wear eye patches. Punk rockers need to chill out and let people without safety pins in their noses listen to punk rock. And musicians can't hog all the instruments out there. We. Do. Whatever. We. Want to.
This is what I am thinking as I take off my shoes and jacket in the hallway. The Melodica is there in its light blue box and the straw-like tube is laying next to it. I attach the tube to a nozzle in the Melodica whilst holding the instrument in my left hand. The fingers of my right hand are feeling the keys. I put the tube in my mouth and blow while pressing two random keys.
Time stops. The birds stop singing. The neighbor doing the dishes freezes with a glass in one hand and the other hand in the hot dishwater. The tones coming out sound like nothing I've ever heard. My ears experience a ringing sensation, and a slight nausea spreads from my stomach up to my throat. I burp and some stomach acid reaches my tongue. I swallow it back down.
It can't get any worse than this, I think. Then I put the instrument down for the rest of the day in question. Tomorrow is another day. I’ll give it another try then.
Required time:
Half an hour to go shopping. Then you need to practice every day.
Cost:
A Melodica will run you 20-30 euro. An acoustic guitar will cost you about 100 euro.
Cons:
Angry neighbors. Patience wearing thin. It takes time to master an instrument. But if you like to play around and don't put great expectations on yourself and don't care about what your neighbors think then there's no problem.
Pros:
Playing with an instrument feels liberating. You don't have to play The Beatles or Bob Marley. Just play the strings, move your fingers over the keys. It's often much more liberating to play your heart and your gut than playing with your brain. Never mind how it sounds. Play for your own pleasure when no one else is home. Then maybe you'll learn to play a song. You'll maybe write a song. You'll maybe start a band.
